


Strike a Match

by Emmiliosis



Category: American Idol RPF, Dalton Rapattoni - Fandom, IM5 (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 02:59:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 21,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6593968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmiliosis/pseuds/Emmiliosis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dalton Rapattoni and Mary-Ellen Morris grew up together. They may not have known each other personally, but they knew who the other was. </p><p>When Dalton was thrown into the American Idol spotlight, Mary-Ellen was hired at School of Rock in Dallas to help fill the staff void. When Dalton comes back for his hometown appearance, they really get to talk and connect when he goes to visit. </p><p>Dalton starts to notice something different when he goes back for the live shows. How does talking to one person for one day change a persons life?</p><p> </p><p>Hey all! I don't know how to post an update on here, so I'm doing it in my summary :) I have a new story in the works about IM5, as well as still working on the bonus chapter for making you guys wait so long for the final chapter on this story. As soon as I have them posted, I will tell you! Thank you for the continued comments and kudos. I love you all!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You and Me Got a Whole Lotta History

Mary-Ellen POV

I was so proud of Dalton. He made his dreams come true. 

We grew up together, same elementary school. My family moved down the street from his when we were ten. We may not have been in the same social circles, but he always smiled and said hi when he saw me.

I wasn’t the most social kid. I was addicted to my music. It got me through so many things as a child. I was diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and all those beautiful things when I was 13. Music was my stability. It was my escape. I taught myself piano, guitar, drums, and I could memorize any song’s lyrics within an hour, all harmonies, and even make up some of my own. 

I never told people what was going on with me. I didn’t want to be judged. I didn’t want to be tormented. I was an angry kid. I was never violent, but I somehow held all my emotions in until I got home from school, or wherever I was forced to go during the day to get out of the house, and I would just blow up. I didn’t know how to channel it properly at first. I started writing music after a couple years. It was so mad. It sometimes scared me what would come out of my head and onto paper. 

It was my outlet. I was able to calm down and focus properly. I learned how to socialize. My mom actually started to forget about any of my disabilities. I started a YouTube channel with my music. My appearance started to change. Instead of the mousy brown hair I had for 19 years, I dyed it red with black tips. After a few months, I bleached it. I loved my skinny jeans, ripped and stained. I always had my graphic tees. Whether they were band tees (I was the geeky preteen music lover, so One Direction was a staple), marvel characters that I only wore because I found them on sale, Harry Potter and Ninja Turtles. I never left the house without a hat. Part of my Autism was that I can’t stand human physical contact, but I need some sort of contact. My hats were a part of me. It gave me comfort when I was in a situation that stressed me out. I loved my combat boots. I had a couple tattoos, and I got my septum pierced.

I was finding who I was. I worked retail as a back of house specialist. I was driving home when I got a text from a friend to check the TV when I got back. I switched to the channel she was talking about to find a very familiar face auditioning for American Idol. I made it in time to see him get his golden ticket, and I was so proud. All I heard from my mom, who is close friends with his mom, is how he had gotten so far in his music, but needed the boost to really get where he wanted to be. 

I called my mom that night, and she said that the episodes were a bit behind real time, and he was already in LA for live shows. She also said that where he had worked, School of Rock, was looking for people to replace his shifts and responsibilities while he was gone. 

I ended up getting the job. I still worked retail – thank god the store had shifts 24/7 – and had shifts teaching kids music Monday through Friday. I started getting really comfortable in the new environment, and each week we watched American Idol, watching Dalton advance. He kept climbing, and I remember watching him become more and more confident.

We were watching the final five, and when Dalton’s name was announced, we were all elated. He was coming home for a couple days, and we would be able to help celebrate his success. 

That was a few days ago. I was currently sitting in one of the recording booths we had in the back of the school. I was working out the harmonies on a song I was writing when a familiar head of blonde hair came through the door. I put down my guitar, and walked to the door while watching him close his eyes and take a deep breath by the soundboard. 

As I opened the door, he turned, surprised that someone was there. True, there weren’t any classes today, so most people wouldn’t be there. I smiled. “Hi, Dalton. Congratulations on getting so far on Idol. All of us have been cheering for you.”

He cocked his head. “I’m really sorry. I know I know you. You look so familiar, but I can’t place you.”

I grinned. “It’s okay. We didn’t really know each other before. I’m Mary-Ellen. I lived down the street from you. I also helped here once you left for Idol. You have some huge shoes to fill.”

A look of surprise came over his face.


	2. I'm Stronger Than I've Been Before

I was so proud of Mary-Ellen. She overcame so much, and you could see the differences from then and now.

I sought refuge in the nearly empty school. I was so pumped to be where I was, to be able to share my music and who I was with people who wanted to listen, but I needed a small break. People don’t know it, but because of my bipolar, some situations can be overwhelming to where I need a short break to regroup. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I know to take the time. I’d rather take 20 minutes than risk my mental health

Because there were so many events happening in town for my homecoming, the school had cancelled all classes for the day so they could be out at everything. It gave the school the perfect place for me to go and have my time, especially since it’s a familiar environment. 

I pulled open the door and saw another vocal coach, who waved me in. I’ve known him since we were kids, and I could see he knew what I was there for. 

I walked down the hall and went into the basement, where we had recording studios. Throughout the year, we had our students record music and we would make albums for parents, family members, etc, and it also gave kids the experience in the studio if they did pursue a career in music. I always loved it down here, I lost myself to my music so often. I could be me, let everything out with my instruments, my words, and my heart always hurt less after something bothered me. 

I opened the door to the last studio down the hall. I closed the door behind me, turned and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I heard a noise to my right, and I turned to see the door leading t the soundproof room open and someone come out. She looked so familiar. Her eyes. They were a deep ocean blue, with a look of innocence in them, even though she had an edgier look. 

She had red distressed skinny jeans on, and black combat boots. Instead of them being done up the leg, she had the laces wrapped around her ankles. She had a couple bigger tattoos on her forearms, they looked like song lyrics, but I couldn’t make them out. She had a plain black tank top and a denim vest. She also had long, straight bleach blonde hair, the roots of a darker brown beginning to show. She also had a toque half on her head, sitting behind her bangs. I looked back at her eyes. They were so familiar, and they drew me in, especially with the thin layer of liner. 

I mentally shook myself from my thoughts as I heard her start to talk. 

“Hi, Dalton. Congratulations on getting so far on Idol. All of us have been cheering for you.”

I cocked my head. “I’m really sorry. I know I know you. You look so familiar, but I can’t place you.”

She grinned. “It’s okay. We didn’t really know each other before. I’m Mary-Ellen. I lived down the street from you. I also helped here once you left for Idol. You have some huge shoes to fill.”

I could feel my face shift into a look of surprise. Mary-Ellen. Her mom was friends with my mom. She had always been….. what’s the word? Intriguing. 

She only lived with her mom. My mom once said that her parents split when she was only a few months old. She was on her own a lot. Earbuds seemed to be her best friend. There were a few times I heard her playing guitar on her porch when I walked by, and she was good. I wanted to get to know her better, but I wasn’t sure how. She never really held eye contact. Whenever I saw her in the halls at school, I always said hi. She would look up, almost surprised, seemed to look slightly to the right of my face, smile, and look away again. 

The summer before high school, when I was 14, mom told me she had been diagnosed with autism. A lot of things started making sense. I still wasn’t sure how to approach her, but I still made sure she knew I was there. 

The girl I knew back then compared to now… There was such a huge change. She wasn’t wearing sweats and a hoodie. Her hair wasn’t pulled back in a messy bun. She had makeup that made her features pop, especially those eyes. She was making eye contact, and she had initiated the interaction. She was genuinely smiling. 

I was pulled back into the here and now.

I grinned back. “I remember you. I always heard you on your guitar when I passed your house. You were good. I can see why they hired you here.”

Her eyes widened. “You heard me?” I could see her shrinking in on herself again, but something crossed her face for a few seconds as she fought back out. She gave a small smile. “That means a lot, coming from you.”

I laughed. “Hardly. I don’t really believe I am where I am yet. It hasn’t hit.”

She nodded, looking down. “I understand. I get that way a lot when I compare myself even a year ago to where I am now.” She met my eyes again. “So, what brings you here? I thought you had a ton of stuff in town?”

“I do. I needed my time away, and what better place to come?”

She looked confused. “Time away?”

I nodded. I’m not sure what it was, but there was something about her that just made me feel so comfortable, that made me open up. I hesitated for half a second, took a deep breath, and proceeded before I second guessed myself. 

“You have time for a heart to heart?”

She nodded, gesturing to the couch against the wall across from the soundboard.


	3. Why'd you have to be extrordinary, what you do to me is so damn scary, I'm gonna lose, no matter what I do... why'd you have to be you?

I was careful not to grab her hand to lead her over, or to touch her arm. I’m a touchy person, but I wasn’t sure how she would feel. 

I sat on one end of the couch, sinking into the familiar comfort. She stood on the other end before sitting down, curling in on herself. She picked at the sole of one of her boots with one hand while she tapped a beat with the fingers of her other hand on her thigh. I didn’t realize I was watching her so intently until she started speaking. 

“You can start talking whenever you like. I swear, even if I’m looking away, I’m listening.” 

I nodded, even though I know she didn’t see me. 

“The past few months have been…. Putting it plainly exhausting.” I saw her nod out of the corner of my eye as I stared out in front of me. “I love what I’m doing, don’t get me wrong. I love music, I love the fans, they’ve gotten me so far. There’s so much going on. Waking up 5:30 every morning. Interviews. Practice for ten hours a day. Staging. Updating all of this social media that I hardly used before. Appearances at different events. I’m lucky to be in bed by two a.m. Like I said, I’m not trying to complain of where I am, the opportunities, but… I need my space. Therefore, I’m here. 

“I’m guessing you saw the last episode of the show, where they showed all of our personal stories.” I again saw her nod. “Then you know of the bipolar thing. It makes it harder to do everything. I have really high days, and then, sometimes, I have such bad lows that I don’t want to leave bed, I need to fake a smile, I can’t show people that something’s wrong, because I can’t even explain that there is something wrong, because I don’t even know what happened to get me the way I am. It’s just there. It hits so hard for no reason. I can’t stop it. And it hurts.”

By that point, it was word vomit. Why did I say everything I did? I hate showing people my vulnerable side. 

I only stopped when I felt warm fingers on my left cheek. I jumped, but tried to stay still. This was the first time I had seen her physically engage with another person, even her mom. I concentrated on her touch, and realized her fingers were wet. Awesome. I had managed to tear up on top of the word vomit. Such an awesome day.

I tried to control my breathing as she continued to run her fingers over my cheek. I watched her out of the corner of my eye, and could see the concentration on her face as she lost herself in drying my tears.

She pulled her hand away, and my face felt cold with the loss of her touch. 

“I get it. More than you know.” I watched her face as she lost herself in her thoughts. Her eyebrows were creased, and she seemed to be fighting herself on what to say.

She finally looked in my eyes. They held something different in them, no more innocence. Hurt, betrayal, with a background of fierceness. It was intimidating yet hypnotising how she could express everything in her eyes when the rest of her face held no expression or emotion. 

“Can I share something with you? I heart to heart normally includes a back and forth conversation.”

I nodded. Something was bugging her, I could tell. 

“I’m not normal.” She blurted it out. I found it entertaining that she said it. Who’s actually normal? However I could tell she wasn’t done. I let her continue at her own pace. She was struggling to find words. 

“I never had friends. I never knew what to say. To me, it was normal, because I didn’t know anything else. I thought that sitting in your room, reading hundreds of books on your own, even at 5 or 6, was normal. I couldn’t do some things. I didn’t react to people’s emotions like I should have. Certain sounds sent me into the fetal position, and textures weren’t okay. I would rather read than interact with people.” 

She started stretching her fingers, curling them in on themselves then stretching them back out. 

“The only interaction I really had was when you spoke to me. It wasn’t a lot, but it meant a lot to me.”

That hit hard. I don’t know what I would have done if I was in that situation, where the only person that talked to me only said hi every once in a while. I was also mad with myself. Why didn’t I try harder? 

“I was 13 when they said I had autism, anxiety, ADHD, a reading disability, and a learning disability that they couldn’t pinpoint. I hated it. There was one kid I went to school with who was diagnosed with autism. Do you remember him?” 

I nodded. Brennon. He was always picked on, and people could tell he was different. There was one day that the principal came in for two hours to do a talk on autism and said it was what Brennon had. The bullying got worse for him. I would have helped, but all the physical stuff happened when I wasn’t around. I was always so mad about it.

“I didn’t want to be like him, as bad as it sounds. He was an awesome person, but what he went through…” 

She started running her fingers over her temples, but it didn’t look like it was because of a headache. It was almost like it was just for the touch, the feel. 

“It took a while for me to really accept. I was never bullied, mainly because people never knew what was going on. I kept to myself. As time went on, and I learned about my issues, I learned to embrace it. I don’t know what kind of person I’d be without my disability. It’s a huge part of me, and affects how I look at the world, but I wouldn’t change how I experience anything. I now like being different.”

She looked up at me.

“I don’t think I’d have the same love of music. I wouldn’t have the same attitude towards it. I’m proud of who I am, and I really wouldn’t change it.

“When you left for IM5, it felt different. There wasn’t anyone that acknowledged me regularly. I normally don’t pay attention to my interactions, but I realized something was missing. That never happened before. I think that was when I first realized that I do pick up on social ques, and pay attention for some things. You helped, Dalton.”

I cocked my head at that. I hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary, but it was enough for her, when we didn’t even know each other. 

“With my diagnosis, my social skills were the biggest issue. For me to be able to pick up that something was off, and for it to be when I ran into you… That doesn’t happen often.”

She laughed, and gave a small, genuine smile, which made her eyes shine. Why am I so conscious of her eyes?

“I seem to be really good at rambling. But, yeah, I get what you’re going through. Music was my thing that kept me sane and helped me get where I am today. I understand your struggles with mental illness. I may not feel it in the same way, but I do understand what it can do to a person.”

I moved to hug her, but stopped before I lifted my arms. 

“Can I hug you?”

Her smile got wider as she nodded, leaning towards me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, and felt her arms make their way behind me, both hands just below my shoulder blades. She rested her head against my left shoulder, and I rested my chin in her hair. Whatever she used in her hair surrounded me, and I fully relaxed into the embrace. 

It was so weird. We didn’t really know each other an hour ago, but I felt so connected to this girl – no, this woman – in my arms. She understood me without me having to explain. And I had played a part in her working towards where she is. 

I let her control how long the hug lasted, and when I felt her shift, I pulled away. 

“What’s your number?” she asked as she pulled out her phone from her back pocket. I pulled mine out as well and we punched in our numbers into the others’ phone. 

I smiled as I shoved my phone into my back pocket. 

“So, I have some appearances I’m due at, and I stayed here longer than I had planned.”

“True.” I saw her face go blank as she replied. 

“Want to come with me?”

She looked up and smiled that smile. “Yeah, just give me two minutes to pack up my guitar in the sound room.”

I nodded, moving to open the door towards the hall as she snapped the case closed.


	4. Cuz every time we touch, I get this kind of rush baby say yeah and let me kiss you

Dalton

I flew back to Hollywood yesterday. The homecoming had been incredible. I had seen so many people that I hadn’t seen in years because of my schedule and all the projects I had been doing. I ended up dragging Mary-Ellen along with me for the day. We bonded, and I learned so much about her. 

She was addicted to purple and loved glitter on her sneakers. When she was sick growing up, her mom would stay home and they’d watch ‘A Baby Story’ which drove her to never want her own kids, but wants to foster and adopt. She’s obsessed with snapbacks, and her favourite is from Harry Potter. Because of her touch thing, she doesn’t like hugs often, and her hats are what makes up for them. Her favourite article of clothing is a pair of camo skinny jeans. Her dream job is to work with kids with disabilities, or represent people with disabilities in the legal system. She told me that her biological dad went on to marry several times, and she has 8 half and step siblings from it. She writes out all her thoughts and dreams, hoping to make music from them one day. Her first week of high school also meant her first stitches, and has a scar on her left wrist shaped like a whale. She barely made it through high school because of her disability. To her, it made no sense to learn about something she didn’t have any interest in.

Anyway.

I was in the studio, working on my single that I was going to sing this week if I made it to the top three. I had been given lyrics, but they didn’t fit what I envisioned. My mind was wandering, and I couldn’t concentrate. 

I kept drumming beats, and trying to find something that worked with two specific lines that I couldn’t shake from my head. 

“What can we do to get this fire to start?  
Come on and strike a match across my heart”

“That sounded good, Dalton.” I heard someone coming into the room behind me. I turned to find one of the guys who had written the premade generic single. 

“Thanks,” I managed to mumble out. My eyebrows furrowed, and then I looked him in the eye. “Look, I appreciate the song, I really do, but it doesn’t sound like me. I’ve always believed in the music I sing meaning something to me, but I don’t feel it.”

He nodded. “It’s cool, I get it. I used to sing as well, and it never worked if I didn’t believe what I was singing.”

He sat down beside the drum kit where I was resting on the stool. 

“Those two lines. Who’s on your mind?”

I started. Were they about someone? I had thought they were just stuck in my head. When I said them again, a familiar face came to mind. 

Her ocean blue eyes, outlined with that black eyeliner. That intoxicating scent that I still can’t put my finger on. The feeling of calm she gives me, how we both seem to come from hard places but are okay with each other’s presence, even if all we’re doing is sitting beside each other, lost in our own thoughts. 

“My God. It’s her.” My hands went straight to my hair, pulling at the roots. I bit my lip. 

How did this happen? Like, it’s not that I don’t like her, she’s an awesome person. In a way, she’s an inspiration, everything she’s gone through, how she’s so positive. Her smile. How her bottom teeth were slightly crooked, How she twirls her hair in front of her left ear with her middle finger….

“We're over the moon  
We're under the gun  
We're like the rolling thunder  
We're like the crash of lightning  
At the end of the day  
When we're caught in the rain  
We never do remember  
Just what it took to get here  
What can we do to get this fire to start?  
Come on and strike a match across my heart”

I looked over. “I think I have my inspiration and start of the single.”


	5. Breathe in that night time air, you got me wide eyed, messy hair... don't know what I'm saying but I just dont care, and i like it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song credits go to Dalton Rapattoni and Cimorelli

Mary-Ellen

I’m in a daze. Dalton had come back for his homecoming. I had ran into Dalton and was able to carry on a conversation. The person who had been there without really trying. I don’t think he fully understands how much that means to me, even now. 

I was at my retail job, working a midnight shift. As I move a rack of clearance, I check my watch. 12:37 am. We had moves today, and we had shipment coming in at 4:30. I loved the midnight shifts. During the day, there are always things to do, but because the store’s open, there’s customers that we also have to take care of. If it gets really busy, we don’t get the chance to finish what we need to. If I have my midnight shifts, I have the time to finish what needs to be done, without the interruptions, and I can concentrate on what I’m doing. 

“Hey, Mary-Ellen, how did Doug want cash wrap organized again? We moved the sports accessories around and have the empty section, but can’t remember how he wanted the product placed.”

I turned from reorganizing women’s clearance to find two other associates behind me, Alex and Isaac. I mentally shook myself back to the present and walked to cash wrap to explain how the hardware needed to be placed for shelves and hooks, and what was going on where. 

I went back to the office to log on to our computers and get our new signs printed off. While I was there, I buried my head in my arms. I trusted Alex and Isaac to handle themselves, and if anything happened I had a walkie on me. I felt my head fighting with itself, and let myself give in. 

Lately, I had been having panic attacks. I don’t know what’s been happening for them to be a thing, and I hate it. I had read an article near the beginning of the attacks that gave advice of how to walk through an attack, so I pulled the information to the front of my mind. 

I gave into the attack. I knew it was coming, and it would be worse if I fought it. I started making lists in my head. Five things I could see. Four things I could touch. Three things I could hear. Two things I could smell. One thing that I could think of to slowly pull my mind back to reality. People would make so much fun of me if they found out, but I had very song Dalton recorded or covered on a playlist on my iPod. He had been my constant for years, and when he left, and I realized the impact he had, I made it so he was still my constant to help me through. What I always thought of to pull me back to reality was his Disney Dudez video. It helped me out of my hell more than anything else because he wasn’t afraid of what people would think, he pushed forward. 

It took about five minutes, but I finally calmed down. I heard a light knock on the door frame, and looked up to see Isaac. He looked worried when he saw my tear stained face, but I gave him a small smile and shook my head. He walked into the office and sat in the other office chair. 

“You’re okay?”

I nodded. My head manager knew about the attacks, and Isaac had walked in on one a couple weeks ago while Rebecca was talking me through the attack. That’s something I truly respect about Isaac. He doesn’t push, but he always makes sure the people around him are looked after. He checks in when he sees I’m having a low day, just to see if there’s anything he can do. It was one of those days I was thankful he was there, because I did need someone’s touch, even though the person I wanted there was halfway across the country. 

I checked the clock again and called Alex to the back room for our lunch break. I know, lunch at midnight, but what else do you call it? Midnight snack? I’m genuinely not sure. I climbed out of my chair and Isaac followed, punching out of our time clock. I collapsed in one of the metal chairs in the break room, my Starbucks I had stored in the fridge in front of me. Isaac again sat beside me, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. I felt him tense, because I normally don’t initiate contact, but he also understood what I needed. His hand made its way into my hair, and slowly rubbed the pads of his fingers along my scalp. 

My hair is one of the few places I’m okay with people touching. I’m not sure why, but it makes me relax and I can bounce back stronger after.

I heard Isaac talking as I heard Alex drop into a chair across from us. 

“I really think you need to concentrate on music for a bit. You haven’t recorded in a while, have you?” I hummed a no in return, trying to concentrate on his fingers drawing a design just behind my left ear. I agreed though. Music was and is always my muse. It got me as far as I am in life now, and it’s always done me good. I made a mental note to book recording time at the school of rock next week as I reached for my Starbucks, leaning away from Isaac. His hand fell from my hair, but I was okay with it. 

*************

“Baby I know that what we got it may not look like much  
There's problems knocking at our door  
Sometimes it feels like these walls are closing in on us  
And we can't hold them anymore  
And we got troubles stacking up so high like building blocks  
Just a breath could knock them down  
So we hold the air inside our lungs and hope it's long enough  
To keep them from crashing to the ground

But everything's going to be okay

'Cause I got you  
I got you  
When we got nothing left to lose  
Baby, you got me and I got you”

I belted the chorus, letting the lyrics take over me, along with the accompaniment I had recorded at home on my laptop. It felt good to finally let out my frustrations, get my feelings out in music. 

I know it sounds cliché. I had written the song about Dalton. Whether he knows it or not, I have his back, and after the day he was back, I felt he has mine. I feel like no matter what happens, I can get through it because I had felt what it was like to have someone listen, someone who understands. It’s so rare to find something like that.

I stepped out of the sound room to the control panel, slipping on the headphones. I listened back to what I had just recorded, and made notes for harmonies. 

Just as I was about to head back in, my phone buzzed on the table. I picked it up to see “Your Nobody” flashing across the screen. I grinned at the name Dalton had given himself when he had given me his number. I unlocked my phone and tapped on a playlist before I opened the message. When we had a conversation, it normally lasted hours.

“The Cinderella to my Prince Charming – how are you doing?”

I shook my head at his IM5 reference. Really, Dalton?

‘Funny, I thought I was the beauty while you were the Beast?’

“Hurtful!”

‘Get over it. What’s up?’

I went to check the fridge for anything to snack on while we were talking. I managed to find some Greek yogurt and peanut butter m&ms. I grabbed a bowl and dumped both in before mixing and bringing it back to the studio and plopping on the couch. 

“Just finished writing my single for Thursday if I get through. What about you?”

‘Taking a break from recording. Figured food would be a good idea while talking to you.’

“What food?”

‘Greek yogurt and m&ms. Those crunchy yogurt things you can get? This is homemade and better than the store bought ones.’

“Jealous!”

‘Again, get over it.’  
‘How is the writing going? You feel good about it?’

“Never. And it feels really good. Got somethings off my chest I needed to.”

‘Awesome! I can’t wait to watch this week – two more days!’

“About that…”

My mind raced at what was coming. I wasn’t sure what he meant, and it freaked me out.

‘Not sure if that’s bad or good. You know you can tell me anything, right?’

“Yeah”  
“How soon can you fly out to LA?”

I nearly dropped my phone in the yogurt.

‘…… I don’t have any shifts at either job for a few days. Are you serious?’

“I’m dead Sirius.”

‘You did not just make a Harry Potter joke while asking me to fly cross country’

“Maybe”

‘I wish I could. I can’t afford it right now. I’m really sorry, Dalton.’

“Hey! I invited you, I pay. Flight, hotel room, food. Everything. Supplies to make a ‘Dalton’s #1 Fan’ shirt. All on me.”

I snorted at the last comment. 

‘Are you sure? Yeah, I’d love to see you again, but I’d hate to put you out by it.’

“I’m sure! I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t!”

‘And this is why you are awesome. Thanks, Dalton, I owe you so much for this.’

“You don’t own me anything. By the way, just booked the flight and it leaves in three hours. See you in six.”

‘Thanks for the warning Dalton!’

“You love me, don’t forget it!”

I rolled my eyes ta the last text. 

‘Seriously, thank you though. I’ll see you soon.’

“Awesome! I’ll get everything ready”

I flung everything in the room into my backpack before heading to the table and saving my recordings on a CD, stuffing it in my information binder in the room. 

As I climbed into my car, all I could think of was how the next couple of day were going to go.


	6. I don't want another pretty face, I don't want just anyone to hold, i don't want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul

Dalton

I was way more excited than was normal. I had begged the producers to let Mary-Ellen bunk in the room across the hall from me. They relented, and ever since I had been hopping around on the balls of my feet. Mackenzie kicked me out of our room so he could have some peace while calling home. 

I ended up going into Mary-Ellen’s room and rearranging the furniture for when she arrived. I shoved the two queen beds together, and stole all the extra pillows and comforters from the walk in closet in the basement. I raided the huge collection of movies from the entertainment room and brought as many horror movies as I could upstairs. I knew she would be bringing her guitar, so I also moved mine over. 

I tried to keep myself busy until it was time to head out to the airport. For the first time in a long time, I couldn’t keep myself occupied for long. I kept going between things to do, walking around the yard, making dinner, washing dishes, listening to music, folding my socks, reorganizing the closet by the front door.

When a couple of people from security finally came to pick me up, I was driving everyone nuts. 

All I could think about was how I wanted to hug her. How I just wanted to feel her presence again. Texting was awesome, sure, but it didn’t feel the same, not since I realized how I felt. All I needed was her by my side. We don’t need to talk, we don’t need any form of communication… I felt like we had the kind of connection where we just got each other without even trying. 

And now I’m just rambling. 

Anyway, I was waiting by the arrivals gate in the airport by one of the security guards while the other stayed with the vehicle. I kept checking my phone to see if she sent another text. She sent one as soon as she landed, and it was all I could do not to jump the gate to go looking for her. 

I saw a familiar Slytherin snapback in the crowd coming towards the gate. It was covering blonde hair which framed a face with hypnotising blue eyes, which were searching the crowd around me. I shot up my hand and waved like crazy. 

Her eyes finally found me and lit up with that familiar smile. With her suitcase jumping on and off the ground and her guitar case smashing against her leg, she ran past everyone and nearly tripped as she passed the gate, dropping everything as she reached me and threw her arms around my waist. 

I tensed, not thinking she would be so forward. I slowly raised my arms to slip around her shoulders. When she didn’t move away, I gripped her tighter, moving my head to rest in the crook of her neck. This is one of the few times that I’m grateful for being shorter than most guys. 

It felt too soon, even though it was a few minutes, but she was pulling back. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, it was too sudden, it was stu-“

I cut her off.

“Hey, it was fine. It’s okay to do some things without thinking.” I smiled down at her while she took in my words. She slowly nodded, and gave me another small smile. 

“Thank you.” She couldn’t keep eye contact as she spoke.

I was so confused. “Why thank you?”

She raised a hand and moved her fingers as she tried to put her thoughts into words.

“Thank you for understanding. For supporting me. For knowing me enough to understand that I needed the explanation.” She chewed on her lip. “People don’t get that I don’t understand how to act sometimes. You know how you automatically smile at something funny?” She looked up long enough to see me nod before turning her attention back to her left shoulder. “I had to learn it. I have to think before I react. I have to force my facial features into what I should look like.” She cut herself off, her eyebrows furrowing. “Just… thank you, for explaining what’s normal. Not a lot of people take that time.”

Okay. It makes a bit more sense now. I may have only known her for a few days, a few days since she really explained everything, but it isn’t the first thing I think about. I had to explain this to a friend who uses hearing aids, because he found it insulting that I wasn’t thinking of his hearing 24/7. What were the words? It was like… I asked him if he thought of my bipolar first thing whenever he saw me. He said no. I then said it was the same with his hearing. I see him as a typical person, not for a disability or problem. 

It’s the same with Mary-Ellen. It may be in the back of my mind everything she deals with, but it’s not the first thing that comes to mind. With her, it’s always her eyes, her rare smile, and how I seem to always get it out of her. How when she writes, her eyes squint in concentration. How even when we Facetime at 2am, she still looks perfect. 

It’s like Will Jay said… When you fully realize how much someone means to you, you notice every little thing about them. It’s official. I’m whipped. 

I smiled down at her, and slowly moved my hand towards hers. I made sure she saw my approach, and when she didn’t flinch away, I slowly laced my fingers with hers, bringing her hand between both of mine. She slowly looked up at me, not a blank look, but a neutral expression. 

“I may not fully understand your situation, but I do understand having to act differently than what’s natural. If there’s anything I can do to help, I will, okay?”

She kept the same expression, but she also nodded. I slowly let go of her fingers, letting her had fall back to her side as I picked up her suitcase. She watched me, and I saw out of the corner of my eye how she shook her head just enough to be noticeable, then bent down to grab her guitar. 

I turned to the security guard, who then in turn headed for the door with Mary-Ellen and I in front. As we got into the vehicle, I felt her slide to the middle seat, on my right. On the ride back to the house, we talked about everything and nothing. About halfway there, she started mumbling her words, and I turned to find her eyelids drooping. I don’t really blame her, it’s nearly midnight here, and there’s the time difference from Texas. 

She eventually nodded off, and her head landed lightly on my shoulder. I could feel myself nodding off as well, and leaned over so my head rested on hers. I heard a sigh from below, and felt her shift slightly so her hand was resting on my thigh. I reached over with my left hand, and drew patterns on her arm until I fell asleep.


	7. kiss me like you wanna be loved

Mary-Ellen

I felt like I was dreaming. I felt like I was surrounded by heat. I wormed my way closer to the source, and whatever it was pulled me in closer. I tried to concentrate on what it was. Around my arm, I felt a hard presence, almost like another arm was supporting me. I tried to pull myself out of my dreamlike state. 

My eyes squeezed shut, and my head turned towards the source of heat. I realized that the warmth was a hard surface, and as I came out of sleep even more, I realized it was moving… breathing. I tried moving, but whoever had me wrapped against them hugged me tighter. 

“Hey, you’re okay, go back to sleep.” I recognized that voice.

“Dalton?” My voice broke from sleep. 

“Yeah. It’s okay, we just got here.” I felt movement, and realized he was carrying me, and we just met a staircase. 

“What time is it?” I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes, and I really didn’t want to, he was really comfortable. 

“About 1am.”

I groaned, burying my face in his shoulder. I could feel him holding back a laugh. “Shut up, Dalton.”

I heard a door swing open, and a few seconds after I was being put on a bed. I felt the covers being pulled up over me. 

“I’m right across the hall if you need anything. You get some more sleep.”

I felt myself nodding off, but managed to pull myself out of it long enough to call out, opening my eyes slightly.

“Dalton?”

“Yeah?” I saw him turn from the door.

“Please stay,” I mumbled, still trying to fight off sleep for a few more minutes. 

I saw his stand at the door for a few seconds before closing it halfway and making his way back towards me. He kicked off his Converse, and climbed over me. I felt the blankets move, and I was warm again. I rolled over, burying my face in his chest, and finally gave into sleep as I felt his arm circle me. 

 

Dalton

“Dalton?”

“Yeah?” I turned towards her, watching her struggle to stay awake.

“Please stay?” I barely heard it across the room. I felt my eyes widen. She wants me to stay with her. She’s been slowly opening up, but there must be a reason behind it… She isn’t one for spontaneity. 

I closed the door halfway and made my way back to the bed. I kicked my shoes off before climbing over her into the bed. I slid under the covers, but also kept my distance. I wasn’t sure what she was comfortable with, and I didn’t want to push it. There have been multiple times I shared a bed, mainly back with IM5 when we toured. It didn’t feel the same as this did. 

First off, this was someone I had feelings for. Second, she has issues with touching, so I wasn’t sure what would happen if I rolled over in the middle of the night and ran into her. Third, I don’t feel near ax tired around her, almost like she’s my energy, and keeps me going. 

I didn’t have to wonder long.

Next thing I knew, she had rolled over and buried her face in my chest. I could feel her shaking, like if she was cold, and that gave me the final hint. I slowly wrapped my arm around her, pulling her closer, and felt her let go of consciousness.

I soon felt myself falling asleep, and nuzzled my way closer.


	8. I'm caught in your perfect storm

Mary-Ellen

I could have sworn I was dreaming. I was on a really comfortable bed, squishy pillows elevating my head. I could feel a light, airy blanket warming me, but something was against my back, warmer than the blanket. As I pulled myself from sleep, I felt that whatever was against my back was also wrapped around my waist.

I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. I was laying on my left side, curled in on myself. Right in my line of sight was a half closed door, and beside the door were my suitcase, backpack, and guitar. I felt the weight around my waist, and turned towards the source to find Dalton’s face sprawled across the next pillow and on top of my long hair. 

I smiled at his peaceful face before reaching behind my head to gently pull my hair away from his face. I slowly rolled over, and before I could make myself comfortable, Dalton mumbled in his sleep, pulling me as close to his chest as possible. 

“Stay,” I could just manage to make out as he rubbed his face into the top of my head. I could feel the anxiety building, I had never been in this position before. I quickly remembered my sight, feel, sound and smell, and concentrated on my constant to pull me out before I woke Dalton up. I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on his breathing, his protective hold that was strong yet gentle. 

As I listened to his breathing, I felt myself copying it, and before I knew it, I was falling back asleep. 

The next time I started to wake up, I felt fingers tracing patterns on my back. I stretched, slowly opening my eyes, finding Dalton still in front of me, a small smile on his lips.

“Morning, lazy.”

“You’re one to talk, you’re still in bed, too.” I slowly sat up, rolling my neck. As it cracked, I saw Dalton flinch out of the corner of my eye.

“That’s gross,” he mumbled, burying his face in the pillow.

“Maybe, but the feeling of a stiff neck is worse. I do it as part of my warmups every day when I sing, I picked it up from that.”

I lay back, letting myself get lost in the fluffy pillows. 

Dalton slowly reached for my hand, and I let him take it, feeling his fingers drawing patterns across my skin. 

“Question.”

I turned towards Dalton. “Answer.”

He continued moving his fingers across my skin, and looked me in the eye. 

“Last night, you were half asleep, so I’m not sure if you remember. Um… you asked me to stay here. I don’t mind, I really don’t, I’m just trying to understand your thinking. I know you don’t like touching, so I’m kind of confused.” He moved his head slightly, moving his head closer to mine. 

“Why did you ask me to stay?”

I love how he genuinely cares and wants to know what’s going on. Not many people take the time to understand. 

I bit my lip as I tried to find the words to explain. 

“I don’t do well in new situations, including being in a new environment. I don’t know why, but it freaks me out. I always need something familiar around me. I did bring my pillow from home, but it was in my bag and I was basically half dead. I know you, I’m comfortable around you, and it helped. Yeah, I was already asleep last night, but I knew I wouldn’t sleep well without something there.”

I had managed to keep eye contact for the past few minutes, and it wasn’t making me uncomfortable. 

“You have helped more than you know, Dalton. My anxiety hasn’t been near as bad lately. I’m still not a fan of people touching me, but we’ve had contact for how long now, and I’m not flinching away.”

I turned to look at the ceiling. 

“You’re my constant. I have had panic attacks for as long as I can remember, but the past few years, one of the few ways that I can help gain my control back is listening to you sing. Hearing your voice helps so much. Being around you, talking… I don’t know how, or why, but I feel safe. I don’t feel like my issues overcome me. I feel like I can be the person underneath all of my problems.”

Before I could think about what I was doing, I rolled to face Dalton, wrapping my arms around him and pressing my lips against his jaw. 

“Thank you for accepting me for me, and not caring that I’m different.”

I felt him freeze below me, but then I felt him respond, turning his head to kiss my forehead. 

“No. Thank you. Thank you for supporting me through everything, and thinking of me that way. It means more coming from you than anyone else. You knew me from before everything, and to still have someone from my life before fame still here for me, not for what I’m involved with… that’s rare.” 

I buried my face in the crook of his neck.


	9. my girlfriends bitching cuz I always sleep in... shes kinda hot tho

Dalton

I had told her how I felt. Sort of. Yeah, she is a special person. She stuck with me in her own way through everything, even though I didn’t understand or know. She didn’t judge me. I could be me around her and not have to keep up all these walls. I don’t know how she had this hold on me, it was nerve-wracking and exhilarating at the same time. 

I didn’t want to move, but I had to get up. We needed food, I had made plans for another friend to drop by as well, and later I had to run through staging for my single. I wasn’t allowed any visitors on set for that, so I was hoping Mary-Ellen would get along with this friend well enough to entertain each other for a couple hours. I wasn’t worried about him being accepting. He had to deal with me for years, through all of my own issues. 

I slowly pulled away and moved to stand up.

“You want anything to eat?”

“Yeah, give me a few minutes to get semi presentable.”

I glanced over at her, her hair pulled up in a messy bun, no makeup, and a pair of cropped sweats with a Ninja Turtle graphic tee. I had no idea how she thought she wasn’t presentable, but I gave her some privacy as she changed. I headed across the hall to change out of my clothes from yesterday and into a pair of purple skinny jeans, a Green Day graphic tee, my typical chains and redoing my eyeliner. When I came out, I leaned my back against the wall, slowly dropping to the floor. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to find a text from my friend, saying he would be over in an hour. Perfect. 

I went through Twitter, and followed a few people before Mary-Ellen opened her door, coming out in a pair of gray leggings, maroon combat boots, and an oversized School of Rock hoodie. She had brushed out her hair and swept her thick hair into a loose size braid. 

I smiled as I stood up, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and guiding her down the stairs towards the kitchen. Once there, I pulled out a couple bowls from the cupboard, followed by a box of Froot Loops. I went to the fridge to pull out a bag of Chipotle and a carton of milk. I glance up as I started pulling the contents from the bag, shoving it in one of the bowls to put in the microwave. Mary-Ellen was giving me an amused look. I grinned as I pushed the cereal and milk towards her. 

“So what’s up for today?” she asked as she ate the cereal straight from the box. 

“I have rehearsals late afternoon, but I can’t bring anyone with me, they want it a surprise for Thursday if I get through. I have a friend coming in about half an hour, actually, and I’m hoping you guys get along with him so you can still hang out when I’m gone, so you aren’t left on your own. Are you okay with that?”

She bit her lip as she nodded. “I’m not entirely a fan of new people, but if you trust him, I’ll try.”

“Awesome!”

We sat at the table as Mackenzie and Trent came through, Mackenzie heading to rehearsals and Trent only in sweats as he doesn’t have his until later today. As Mackenzie was leaving, I heard him call that someone was here for me. I jumped up, skipping towards the door to find a familiar head of curly hair half covered by a snapback. We hugged, and I led him back to the kitchen where Mary-Ellen was placing her bowl in the dishwasher. 

She glanced up, and I watched her eyes go wide. 

“Mary-Ellen, meet Dana Vaughns.”

Dana smiled at her, moving for a hug, but then remembered a text I had sent earlier about her not being too crazy about touch. He waved instead. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

Her eyes were still wide, and they were staring Dana down. Not in a creepy way, more like she was amazed. 

“Holy crap.” I watched as she started to slow her breathing down. “Holy crap, it’s Dana.” She closed her mouth and squealed. 

“Hey!” I called out, faking being hurt and offended. “How come I didn’t get that reaction?” I placed a hand over my heart while pushing Dana away by the face. “That hurts. Right here,” I said, pointing to my chest.

“Tough it out, Rapattoni. I knew you from before. Dana, however, not so much, and I may have had an obsession with his curls when I was younger.” Her eyes widened, and her hand flew to her mouth. “I didn’t say that.”

Dana was half on the floor, he couldn’t hold himself upright from laughing so hard. I pushed him over and sent a pout towards Mary-Ellen. 

“Fine. I know where I stand,” I whined, making my eyes as big and pathetic as possible. 

“Dalton, don’t be like that.” She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist as I crossed my arms in front of my chest, sticking my chin out and glancing up. 

“Nope. You like Dana better. Go give him hugs.”

“Yours are better,” she mumbled as she buried her face in my chest. 

“How do you know, you’ve never hugged him.”

“Because yours warm me up and calm me down. You’re my constant, Dalton, and it’s never going to change.” Her grip tightened around me, and I felt her fingers drawing patterns on my skin where my shirt had hiked up a bit. 

It was all I could do not to react, I didn’t want to scare her away, and Dana was right there, watching as he calmed down. 

I slowly dropped my gaze, uncrossing my arms to pull her in further. “Good. I don’t want it to change.”

I felt the tension leave her body as she melted into my chest. 

“Group hug!” Dana screamed as he jumped on my back. I felt Mary-Ellen tense up again, then back away as I stumbled forward under Dana’s weight. I fake screamed as I ran towards the sliding door off the kitchen that led to the yard with Dana dragging behind me. 

**

The three of us ended up staying in the yard until I had to leave for rehearsal. We have an insane deck with an amazing view, and it was really useful as Dana and Mary-Ellen got to know each other. She had really opened up, and I couldn’t help but smile at the thought. From the person I knew growing up, to the beautiful young woman who sat beside me, combat boots resting in my lap as she described some of the customers she dealt with on a daily basis at her retail job. She had stolen Dana’s snapback, and she was running her fingers along the stitching as she complained about one specific customer. 

The alarm on my phone went off, indicating I had to leave. I slowly pushed her feet off my lap as I stood up, stretching as I realized my butt was asleep. I paced to gain feeling.

“I have to go. You guys okay together until I get back?”

Dana grinned from another chair. “Yeah, man, we’ve got this. You go do your thing.” Mary-Ellen smiled, nodding along with Dana. 

“Awesome. I’ll be back in a few hours.” I turned towards Mary-Ellen, my arms opening. “Do I get a hug?”

She shrugged. “Maybe.” 

“Hurtful!”

“Again, get over it, Rapattoni.” She stood, walked over to me, and rested her cheek on my chest as her arms snaked around my waist. I threw my arms around her shoulders, burying my face in her neck. I could smell her perfume, something musky mixed in with something sweet and spicy, like cinnamon. 

I pulled away reluctantly. “I’ll be back in a bit.” I turned and walked through the door to the kitchen before poking my head back out. “Now you kids have fun, respect her, don’t make her do things she doesn’t want to do, and if I come back to find you both macking on each others’ faces, you’re both grounded, ya hear?” I cackled as I turned back around and headed for the front door.

Mary-Ellen POV

I rolled my eyes at Dalton as Dana snorted beside me. 

I leaned back, resting my feet on the now vacant seat. I listened to Dana chatter on about how we should freak Dalton out when he came back, but none of it registered. 

“So, what’s the story behind you two?”

“Hm?” I opened my eyes to the warm Californian sun. 

Dana leaned forward, arms resting on his knees. He watched my eyes in a thoughtful way. 

You and Dalton. I’ve known him for years, but I’ve only heard of you in passing. The way you act together…. You’re really close, but I never got that vibe before.”

I nodded, understanding. “Yeah, I grew up down the street from Dalton. We didn’t know each other too well, but he always made a point to say hi whenever he saw me. When he left for American Idol, I was hired at School of Rock to help take over his shifts. I was working on a song when he was back for his homecoming, and he came in the studio looking for some space. We got to talking, and here we are.”

“He only did homecoming a few days ago.” I nodded, confirming the statement. “And he already acts like that around you. That’s huge.”

I looked at him. I wasn’t sure what he meant, and it must have shown on my face.

“I’m guessing you heard of Madison?” I nodded, recognizing the name of one of his girlfriends while he was in the band. “It took him over a year to act and talk to her like he does with you. He opened up about some of his personal stuff, which is insanely hard for him. Because of everything he’s gone through, he hates leaning on other people and them feeling bad about everything. He doesn’t open up to just anyone like that. Everyone in the band knew general information, not everything that was going on, and we didn’t find out everything until a couple years in.”

I had been watching my fingers run over the armrest of the chair, listening to Dana as he went on. It hadn’t really occurred to me what’s normal for other people. I don’t mean it in a bad way, but I do normal for me. Is it normal for other people to know what other people’s normal is?

I looked up at Dana, not sure how to say what I wanted to. 

“This is probably going to sound really stupid, and I apologize ahead of time. I know you’ll want to interrupt at some point, but please don’t… I need the time to get everything out.”

He nodded, crossing his legs and poking at the sole of his shoe.

“I’ve known Dalton as long as I can remember. We weren’t close, and I’m okay with that. He had his thing, and I had mine. When he left for the band… I have issues with social interaction. Dalton made it a point to at least say hi, but when he left there wasn’t anything. But, the thing is I noticed that there wasn’t anything. That’s a big deal for me. He was the constant in my life, and I was missing it. Whenever you guys made a new video or cover or whatever, it went straight to my iPod so I still had my constant with me when I needed it.”

I chewed on my lip, not sure how to continue, but I needed to. 

“When Dalton came back. I had changed a lot, and most of it was because of him, but he won’t ever fully understand how. Before everything, I wouldn’t have been anywhere near you, no offense, just that social interaction isn’t my thing. I opened up because of him. I opened up TO him. I’m able to be me. He accepts me for my flaws, for my quirks, for my nerdiness… He isn’t trying to change me, he’s trying to understand me, know why I do what I do, and I never had that. He means so much to me… I don’t wat to lose him. Yeah, it’s been only a few days, but I think that shows exactly how much he’s accomplished in the short amount of time. He’s my best friend without really trying.”

Dana looked me dead in the eye, and I could tell he wanted to say something. 

“Mary-Ellen… yell at me, whatever, if I’m wrong or out of line, I’m really good at doing that. But… do you like Dalton? Like… maybe even love him?”

That startled me, but I wasn’t angry. In fact, the past day or so, I had been asking myself the same thing, and I think I finally knew what the answer. 

“I think I do. Not even think anymore, I know.”

Dana nodded. “I thought so. The way you act around each other… It’s like you’re each other’s second skin. I get if you don’t want to tell him yet, and that’s okay. You haven’t been talking very long, and you might think it’ll scare him away. But if I know Dalton, he isn’t going to push you away. You’re too important to him.”

I heard him mumble something after that, but I wasn’t paying attention. My mind was with Dalton, and remembering the feeling of his arms around my shoulders. 

I was shook from my thoughts when Dana stood up, offering his hand out for me to take. He led me inside and upstairs to my room, where I found a huge collection of horror movies. Dalton knew me too well. 

We were finished the first Saw movie and halfway through Sinister when the door opened on the pitch black room. I screamed as light poured in, Dana falling off the bed from where he was laying beside me. 

“It burns!” I hissed, falling backwards from my kneeling position and onto the floor on top of Dana. 

“Good to know my best friend’s a vampire. Awesome. We can share eyeliner!” I heard as feet ran over and a body fell on top of me. 

Dana groaned under both our weight. “I love you guys, but get off me before my spleen ruptures.” 

“Blame Rapattoni. I’m light. He has a gut from eating too much Chipotle.”

“Hurtful!” Next thing I knew arms were around my waist and Dalton was rolling over, pulling me with him. I squirmed in his arms, and he let me go. 

“I need to change for bed, its 10, I’ll be back in a bit.” I grabbed my backpack as I headed for the bathroom. 

Dalton POV

Once she left the room, I turned towards Dana. 

“Everything was good?”

He nodded. “Yeah, she’s cool. We bonded, she talked, I know a bit more about her. You’re seriously lucky to have her Dalton.”

I shook my head. “I don’t have her yet.”

“You like her, don’t you?”

“I do, she doesn’t see me for fame, she sees me as a person, she doesn’t judge, she has the biggest heart… I’ll be lucky if she ever sees me that way.”

Dana snorted beside me, but it didn’t register. 

“I need to go, family thing tomorrow. You look after yourself and her. It was good seeing you again.”

I nodded. “You too, Dana.”

We hugged, and as he left, Mary-Ellen came through the door. They said goodbye, and she dumped her bag on the floor before both of us sat on the bed. 

“Are we good to just crash? Rehearsals were really tiring.” She nodded, and I smiled. She climbed up to the top of the bed, burying herself in blankets.

“You’re coming here, too,” I heard the muffled demand. I smiled wider, pulled off my shirt and shoes and lay down beside her. She rolled so her back was to my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her as she flicked off the light switch above the bed. I don’t think I fell asleep faster or slept better than I did that night.


	10. im only human, and i bleed when i fall down

Dalton

It was show night. I had been nervous all day. The nerves had been slowly fading away on the day of performances, but Mary-Ellen was here. The song I was singing was based off of her. I hadn’t told her that, or anyone else. I wanted to do a good job.

I wasn’t ready to tell her just yet how I feel, but I was hoping the performance tonight was going to be a gateway to me having the guts to do it. 

Mary-Ellen had a seat in the audience near the top four. I was able to see her out of the corner of my eye from my seat, and would be able to see her from the stage when it was time to perform. 

I had woke up earlier than I had planned, tossing and turning, accidently waking up Mary-Ellen beside me. I couldn’t voice what I was feeling, but I’m guessing my face said everything. She pushed me onto my back, and half lay on top of me, her head and upper chest leaning on me as she wrapped one arm around my waist. Her other hand was on my chest in front of her face, drawing patterns across my bare skin. I concentrated on her touch, and my breathing slowed, calming me down. 

She was slowly turning into my constant, just like I was already hers. 

All I could think about as I waited for my name to be called was her face, and it kept me grounded. It kept me focused. 

Wow… I can’t even keep my thoughts straight I’m so nervous.

Finally, I was announced. I breathed a sigh of relief, but it didn’t last long as I felt the adrenaline start running through me. As the studio went black as they played my intro tape, I turned to Mary-Ellen, grinning as I saw her ecstatic face watch the screen brighten before I ran to the stage, grabbing my microphone from the stage hand. I waited in the shadows as the last few seconds played, then walked forward with the confidence I always found in the last second before performing. 

The entire time I was singing my heart out, all I could think about was Mary-Ellen and making her proud. I wanted to be the reason she smiled tonight. I wanted to be the reason she smiled for the rest of my life, and this was the first step to that. 

As the song came to an end, I felt a warmth come over me, and heard everyone screaming. I grinned so widely, I thought it would fall off my face. The lights came over the audience, and Ryan started talking, but all I was interested in was finding a certain face in the crowd.

She was grinning from ear to ear, sitting on the edge of her seat, eyes piercing me as I found her. Her smile grew wider, if possible, and she gave me a double thumbs up before I turned my attention to walking off stage back to my own seat. 

Mary-Ellen POV

I was so nervous for him, although I knew there was no reason to be. He would get through, he would steal the show. His presence alone always captivated the audience, and nothing tonight would change that. 

He had woken me up rolling around in bed beside me, and when I turned over, his face had a look of pure anxiety. His eyes were round and bright, his facial features were fixed and locked. I knew that face from seeing my own in the mirror so many times. I did what I would have wanted if it was me on the other end of the anxiety attack and he was there to comfort me.

I shoved him on his back, and a look of surprise crossed his face before his features contorted back. He was still shirtless from sleeping, which worked to my advantage. I lay my head on his chest, wrapping my right arm around his waist. My left hand went towards his chest, and I started writing out words to keep my fingers busy and to give him something to concentrate on. Before I knew it, his breathing was back to normal and I felt him relax under me. His arm looped itself round my own waist, and the fingers of his right hand laced themselves with my own. 

We stayed like that for a while, I wasn’t sure how long it was before he spoke.

“Thank you.”

I slowly breathed out, rubbing my face farther into his skin. “No need to thank me. I get it. I really do.”

“Still.” His grip tightened, and I felt him pull me farther up. I turned my face to look up at him, and he buried his face in my hair. 

“It sucks. Not controlling your emotions.” I felt his fingers around my waist move back and forth, and it made my skin tingle at the touch. 

I played with my fingers as I sat in my seat in the audience, thinking back on that morning. I couldn’t keep from squirming in my seat as the lights dimmed for names to get called of who went through. When they called Dalton’s name, I felt so much relief, and I slid to the edge of my seat to watch the video. 

When the lights came back on, Dalton was walking forward on stage with such an air of confidence it took my breath away. I tried to come out of my trance to listen to the lyrics as the music thrummed in the background. 

“I feel like a shadow creeping under the pale moonlight  
Like Snow White sleeping through the best years of my life

Am I numb to all the pain?  
What can I do to feel alive again?

How did we get to the bottom from the peak of the mountain top?  
How do we smile at each other when we can't stand the thought of us?

Are we just dancing in the dark  
Without a clue of who we are?  
How can we choose to carry on  
When together, we're alone?

We're over the moon  
We're under the gun  
We're like the rolling thunder  
We're like the crash of lightning  
At the end of the day  
When we're caught in the rain  
We never do remember  
Just what it took to get here  
What can we do to get this fire to start?  
Come on and strike a match across my heart”

I was so captivated by his movement, the lyrics, his dynamics….. He was so hypnotising, so… magical. He was born to be on stage, he was born to perform. 

I listened to the words he was saying, and I felt a tug in my heart. It was like he was describing someone who meant so much to him, who had an impact on him. Someone who he couldn’t live without. It hurt to think there was someone so important to him, but at the same time, I wanted him to be happy. 

As he finished, I watched his face, and as soon as he met my gaze, I smiled and gave him a thumbs up. His eyes held so much within them, and I couldn’t read every emotion, but I knew that the most prominent was exhilaration. 

I watched him leave the stage through the audience, and his expression didn’t change. He was where he needed to be, and I couldn’t be more proud.


	11. Authors Note

Hi guys! So, thank you for reading this far!!

 

I'm writing this now instead of later to let you know I'm not sure how soon I'll be updating. Reason being-- I'm going to Ottawa Thursday through Monday to see a couple friends and work at Comiccon! I'm super excited, actors from Doctor Who will be there, some of the Archie comic creators, and TWO of the creators of the Ninja Turtle comics!! I'm squealing as I write this, no lie!

I'm bringing my laptop with me, and I'm going to write as much as possible before and during, but please bear with me!

 

I also want to thank you for staying with me, I know I hate waiting for new parts to come out on stories, so thanks for the patience. I would love to see comments, and see what people think of what I'm writing. Every bit helps with me improving how I write, questions about anything, etc.

 

Thank you and I love you!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO!!! I had an insane time at Comiccon! I got to catch up with my friends, and I was working doors to conferences when the creator of Ninja Turtles had his Q&A, so I couldn't meet him :/ But he left through my door, and he saw my hat (Ninja Turtles!) and stopped for five seconds to say he liked it -- I may have squealed....

Chapter 11

Mary-Ellen

When the show finished and the contestants had gone backstage, I sat waiting for most of the auditorium to clear out before heading to a door leading backstage. I fished my pass out of my pocket, showing it and my ID to the security guard at the door. He smiled and let me through. 

I heard a couple familiar voices up the hall, and followed them to a dressing room with Mackenzie’s name on it. I lightly knocked on the half open door, not needing to wait long before Mackenzie pulled the door open the rest of the way. When he saw it was me, he smiled, moving out of the way to let me pass. 

“I’m sorry you were voted off tonight. You were second on my list of who I wanted to win, after Dalton.”

He smiled, shaking his head. “I’m fine. I learned so much while here, and I’m not going to forget any of it, or anyone, soon.” I slowly raised my arms, and his grin grew wider, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around me. The hug didn’t last long, maybe two seconds, but I tried to put as much emotion in it as possible. 

As I pulled away, I turned to look inside the room, seeing Dalton and Trent both on the couch. I went to sit on the floor, leaning against Dalton’s legs. I felt his legs move slightly as he leaned forward, and then my hair was moving as he played with it. I let out a breath as I leaned my head back, closing my eyes. 

Mackenzie chuckled. “You really enjoy that, don’t you?”

“Mmhm.”

“Hey, can I grab your phone and switch numbers? I want to be able to talk to you after everything.”

I fished in my pocket to pull out my phone. I felt for the home button, pressed it, and let my thumb rest on it, scanning my fingerprint. One of the positives – I don’t have to look at the screen for my passcode. I held my phone out, not sure where Mackenzie was, and felt the weight leave my hand. My arm fell back into my lap, my breathing slowing even more. 

I felt light pulling at my hair, and as I concentrated on it, realized Dalton was putting small braids throughout. Who knew he could do that?

After ten minutes of sitting around, Mackenzie kicked us out, saying he needed to shower before heading back to the house. I followed Dalton down the hall to his own dressing room, but before he could head to his own shower leaving me to my own devices for a while, I grabbed his arm, pulling him back towards me. He looked surprised and confused until I wrapped my arms around his waist, my face in his chest. 

“Congratulations. You did so well. Your single was amazing, I was so lost in it I forgot where I was for a minute.”

He relaxed, wrapping his arms around me as well. “Thanks, that means a lot coming from you. It really does.”

I pulled away, but didn’t take my arms away from his waist. “Question, though.”

“Answer.”

I fingered at the hem of his shirt, watching the pattern on his shirt, concentrating on the details and stitching. 

“Who was the inspiration for that song? You were so passionate singing it, there’s no way that it was a generic song that other writers came up with. You helped, didn’t you?”

I glanced up to see him nod. “There’s someone from back home who I’ve gotten close to lately, but I don’t want to start something too soon. I don’t know how she feels yet, and I don’t want to scare her away. I’d rather have her as a friend than nothing at all.”

I nodded back, fully understanding, but at the same time, I felt my chest tighten. I highly doubted it was me, I wish it was, but we aren’t that close… Are we?

I released my arms from his waist, pushing him towards the shower as I pulled out my phone, checking my texts to see a couple from Mackenzie already. 

I checked my Facebook, and shared a few quotes and funny photos before Dalton reappeared. I looked up as he walked back in while running a towel through his hair. He couldn’t see me staring, and I really didn’t want him to. I didn’t realize I was until he started pulling the towel over his face and I quickly looked back at my phone.

“You ready to go?” I heard above me as he walked over. He plopped down beside me, leaning over so his forehead was on my shoulder. He smelled strongly of apple cinnamon, soap, and something I couldn’t place. 

I shoved my phone back in my pocket, leaning my cheek in his hair. I felt him sigh, his breath on my skin. 

“Not yet. I want to stay like this for a bit. Have my me space.”

“Mmhm. Do you want me to leave?”

“No, you’re good.” I nuzzled farther into his hair, relaxing as I felt Dalton reach to wrap his arms around my waist. We stayed like that for a while, and I could feel myself falling asleep when there was a knock on the door. 

“Come in,” Dalton called out as I raised my head. Mackenzie poked his head through the door, smiling when he spotted us.

“Hey, the van’s here to bring us back. You guys ready?”

Dalton groaned as he picked his head up, leaning it back as he opened his eyes. I stretched my neck, cracking from not moving for a bit. I nodded, moving to stand up. Dalton followed, grabbing my hand and lacing my fingers through his. I froze for half a second as I got used to the feeling, then calmed down. He was really big on the friendly gestures. 

Dalton walked slightly behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder as we went. 

Once we got to the van, I slipped in the very back, moving over to make room for Dalton and Mackenzie. La’Porsha and Trent were in the middle. 

I watched out the window as I started drifting off again. Dalton pulled me towards him, placing his hand on the side of my head to guide it to his shoulder. 

“You’re fine, just sleep.”

My eyes were really heavy as I heard voices from around me.

“So, when are you going to tell her?”

“Tell her what?”

“Don’t play, Dalton, we all know you like her, we can see it.” La’Porsha spoke up from the seat in front of me. 

I felt Dalton’s shoulder shift as he sighed. “I was hoping it wasn’t obvious.”

“Completely obvious.”

“I’m amazed she hasn’t already picked up on it.”

“She has social stuff, like, she doesn’t pick up on things around her and their meaning like most people do. I guess that’s good, since I don’t want to tell her yet. I don’t want to scare her off.”

Wait. Were they talking about me? I pulled myself out of sleep enough to fully concentrate on their conversation without opening my eyes. 

“Dalton, sometimes you’re so out of it!” Mackenzie whisper yelled. I hadn’t heard him that frustrated.

‘What do you mean?”

“The way she looks at you, man!” Mackenzie continued. “The way she looks at you, the way she acts, the way she responds to you. You said earlier she has an issue with touch. She doesn’t seem to have that problem with you, and that’s huge! She likes you, way more than you realize!” 

Dalton’s hand reached up to my hair, which I had loose and falling down my back. I felt him run his fingers through it, and I sighed reflexively.

Trent chuckled. “She really does like you, Dalton. I’ve seen her flinch away when other people try to wake her up or touch her while she’s sleeping. She just leans farther into you.”

“Yeah,” he trailed off, and I felt his lips brush against my forehead. 

“Seriously, though. You need to tell her. I get it if it isn’t the right time, but the longer you wait, the harder it will be. She grounds you. I haven’t seen you smile as much as you have the past couple days, compared to the entire competition. You need her, and she needs you. You complete each other.” Mackenzie’s words really hit me. I hadn’t realized how much my relationship with Dalton meant until Mackenzie voiced it.

“I have something planned. I really do. I’m just not sure how or when to do it. Before I do, I’ll tell all of you, though. You guys accepted her, too, and she doesn’t get that a lot. I appreciate it, and I know she does, too.”

“Hey, no problem, man,” Trent said. “I don’t get why people don’t like her. She’s awesome.”

“So, that song was hers, wasn’t it?” La’Porsha asked.

Dalton laughed lightly. “Yeah, it was. She has this…. This power over me, I guess. Like, she’s always on my mind, I smile because of her. But there’s always that bit that’s like, I could never meet her expectations, you know?”

I started drifting off again, their voices carrying over me. All I could think of was how Dalton liked me, and he had written a song about me. How many people get to say that?


	13. I wanna keep you for good, so I swear ill keep my word... won't mess up ypur mascara just your lipstick

“I seriously wish I didn’t have to go.”

I was sitting with Dalton outside the security gate at the airport. The show was last night, and it was time for me to go home. I had a shift at the store later that night, and I had to get back to teaching, as well. 

“I wish you didn’t, either.”

I had said goodbye to La’Porsha and Trent earlier, and Mackenzie had come with us, taking an earlier flight home. He was flying out again next week for the finale. I unfortunately couldn’t make it, but I was going to be watching it with the rest of the staff at School of Rock. 

I leaned my head on Dalton’ shoulder. I felt his fingers drawing patterns across my knee. I watched the clock and saw I only had about five minutes before I needed to go through security. My anxiety started to rise. My body tensed, and my breathing picked up.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Dalton soothed me, moving his arm around me, pulling me closer. He kissed my forehead, whispering nothings into my ear to help calm me down. “You have the playlist, remember?”

I nodded, trying to concentrate on sight, smell, hearing, touch and my constant. Dalton had stolen my iPod for a few hours, and had uploaded a ton of songs that he had written and recorded, but weren’t released. He also made a playlist out of the music on my iPod, as well as adding his own. I had a way of remembering him, how he made me feel, songs that were important to the both of us.

I let out a long breath, finally looking up again. 

“I have to go,” I murmured, moving to stand up. Dalton followed closely behind. I turned so we were standing face to face. “Thank you so much for bringing me out here. I loved it.”

“You are welcome, and no need to thank me. I was more than happy to do it. I needed the confidence, the company, and you gave it to me. You’re almost like a good luck charm.” He grinned down at me. I felt myself turning red. 

Dalton reached towards me, resting his hands on my shoulders for half a second before pulling me in for a hug. My arms automatically latched around his waist, and he held me closer than he had before. I felt his head rest on my shoulder, and his lips brush against my neck. My eyes widened, but I didn’t move away. 

We stayed like that for about a minute before I pulled away, reaching for my backpack. 

“I’ll text you when I land, okay?”

He nodded, pulling me forward for one last, quick hug before letting go. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you more!” 

I started walking towards the security gate, and stood in line behind a few people. I started daydreaming, and my subconscious started to wander back to the night before. I couldn’t get the conversation Dalton had with everyone out of my head. 

He may not be ready to tell me, but I felt like I could tell him.

Maybe not tell, exactly. But I could definitely show him. 

Before I could talk myself out of it, I spun myself around, launching myself past the few people who had lined up behind me. I ran towards the familiar head of bleached hair, which had turned to head back towards the main entrance of the airport. When I got close enough, I launched myself onto his back. He stumbled under my weight as I slid off. Dalton turned around, and I took my chance. I launched myself at him again, wrapping my arms around his neck. I leaned forward, and my lips found his. 

I felt warmth travel throughout my body. All the air left my lungs, but I didn’t care. I felt Dalton relax underneath me, and he pressed his lips back onto mine, wrapping his arms around my waist. Time completely froze. It felt like hours before we pulled away, even though it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. 

I breathed in slowly, opening my eyes. I saw Dalton leaning his face forward, his eyes still closed, a dazed look covering his face. I smiled, pecking his lips once more before sliding my hands down his arms, reaching his own hands. I walked back to security, a feeling of empowerment washing over me. 

Once I made it through the gate, I looked behind me. The last thing I saw before boarding was Dalton, watching me as his fingers traced his lips.


	14. C'mon let me change your ticket home

“I seriously wish I didn’t have to go.”

I was sitting outside the security gate at the airport. Mary-Ellen was beside me, and my security was just down the row of seats. The show was last night, and I had booked her a ticket back home. If I had any say in it, she would have been staying, but she has her own commitments, which I admire her for. 

“I wish you didn’t, either.”

Mackenzie had left about half an hour ago. We had gone together because of his earlier flight home. It was hard losing two people that were so close in one day. It was surreal. He would be back next week though, for the finale. 

I wish Mary-Ellen would be there, too, but she was working almost as soon as the shooting would be done, and she has a shift night before, as well. I knew she was only a phone call or text away, which made it hurt less, but that didn’t make it any easier. 

I felt her lean her head on my shoulder, and I rested mine on hers, moving my hand towards her knee. I started writing on her back, random lyrics to keep my hands and mind busy. I knew if it wandered, it would be harder than it already was to say goodbye. I felt her body tense, and her breathing picked up. I lifted my head, and followed her gaze. She had seen a clock, and how long it was before she had to leave. 

I moved my arm around her, pulling her as close as I could to my chest. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” I murmured. I kissed her forehead, and I felt electricity between us. I kept whispering in her ear, trying to give her something to concentrate on. “You have the playlist, remember?”

I had taken her iPod last night and added a ton of new music, a lot of it being my own, all of it private and unreleased. I had made a playlist out of her own music as well, as much as I could find that reminded me of her and us. She had told me how she had made a playlist of all my music before to help her through her anxiety. I wanted to help, and I wanted to be there for her, even if I couldn’t be there physically in the moment she needed help most. 

I felt her let out a deep breath, then moved her head up. 

“I have to go,” she murmured, moving off my chest and standing up. I stood up beside her, and turned so we were facing each other. “Thank you for bringing me out here. I loved it.” 

“You are welcome, and no need to thank me. I was more than happy to do it. I needed the confidence, the company, and you gave it to me. You’re almost like a good luck charm.” I grinned at her as her face turned red. It was so much more, though. I felt complete. I felt so drawn to her, like there was a gravitational pull between us. Maybe this was what she meant by me being her constant. Did she become mine as well?

I reached out to place my hands on her shoulders, slowly moving to pull her into a hug. Her arms wrapped around my waist, and I felt like I was home. I pulled her in closer than I had before and buried my face in the crook of her neck and shoulder. I wanted to tell her how I felt, I wanted to say I loved her, but I didn’t want her thinking it was because she was leaving and trying to make her feel better. I wanted to wait so it really meant something. I gently kissed her neck before moving my head back to its original position. 

We stayed like that for a minute before she pulled away, and reached for her backpack at our feet. 

“I’ll text you when I land, okay?”

I nodded, pulling her forward for one last, quick hug before letting go. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you more!”

She walked towards the security gate, and I made sure she was safely in line before turning to the door. I didn’t want to watch her leave, it would make it more painful. I held back the tears I felt forming in the corners of my eyes, walking towards my security. 

Before I could take five steps, someone had pounced on my back. I stumbled forward because I wasn’t prepared, and turned to see who it was, although the tattoo on their forearm that had wrapped around my neck looked familiar. Mary-Ellen was jumping towards me again, wrapping her arms around my neck. Before I could react, her lips were on mine. 

I was lightheaded. Shivers ran through my spine and spread throughout my body. I didn’t react at first, but within half a second I was kissing her back, putting as much feeling behind it as I could. This felt so right, I felt like I was home. Nobody made me feel this way before. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her in as close as possible. I never wanted to leave.

Unfortunately, oxygen is a thing. We separated, but I kept my eyes closed, and I could feel the reaction on my face, a half smile, crazed. I felt her lips on mine again for half a second, and I kissed back, before her hands slid don my arms, grabbing my hands, then walking away, our fingers entangled for a moment before she was too far away to keep a grip on me. 

My eyes slowly opened, and I watched her retreating form, knowing I wouldn’t forget anything about this moment. Her oversized purple button up flannel was undone, moving as she walked. Her hair braided back about six inches in cornrows, the rest of her long hair wavy and natural, bouncing with each step. The red bandana she had around her left wrist. Her light grey skinny jeans, zippers and rips everywhere. Her bright red converse with the tie-died laces. 

I still felt her lips on mine, the tingling sensation she left me with. I reached my hand up to my face, tracing my fingers over my lips softly, still in total shock.

I finally shook myself out of my trance, and sent a text to Dana. 

“Dana, she kissed me. I think I need to tell her sooner than planned.”


	15. Chapter 15

Hey!! So this will be quick. I'm using my phones limited data. Our internet is down until further notice :( but I will update asap!


	16. all i wanna do is give you something you don't want to lose its written in the stars im meant to be with you so close your eyes

I was watching American Idol with some of my retail coworkers. The past week had been…. I’m not sure how to describe it. Dalton hadn’t been talking to me. I had sent multiple texts, facetime requests, phoned I don’t know how many times. He never replied. I kept telling myself he was busy, but that hadn’t stopped him the week before. 

To be completely honest, I was really nervous. 

I had more panic attacks than what I normally had, and I tried listening to the playlists Dalton had made, but it made me hurt more because he wasn’t speaking to me. I tried finding something else to keep my mind off things, and the only thing that kept me sane was writing and recording. It kept my mind busy. If I had something to do, I didn’t have a chance to let my mind wander. 

We were all squashed in the living room of my one bedroom apartment. I was sitting in a hammock like chair that I had hanging from the ceiling. I had it installed to help with my anxiety. The guys were all on the couch: Haiden, Alex, Isaac, and Michael. Isaac was on the end beside my hammock, and was running his fingers through my hair as I leaned against the material, my legs folded underneath me. Kayla, Mika, and Ashley were on the floor, laying across an air mattress I had blown up. I had also dragged out a bunch of pillows, and Shelbey, Harper, Autumn and Liah were using them as they sprawled themselves across the room wherever there was space. 

I was more nervous this week than before as I watched the opening credits. Isaac knew what was happening, but he knew better than to bring it up again. 

As they brought out the final three, all the girls squealed. They were half and half on Dalton and Trent. The guys were all rooting for La’Porsha. She had been called as final two, and now Dalton and Trent were standing side by side as the lights dimmed. 

Trent’s name was called. 

I felt my chest tighten as I watched Dalton smile and hug Trent. I knew how much he wanted this, how important this was. He may not have been showing it, but I could see in his eyes he was disappointed. 

I tried to tune out his feelings as the rest of the room chattered about Trent and La’Porsha. I concentrated on Autumn and Shelbey’s conversation specifically, and then my phone buzzed in my pocket. I reached in, pulling it out to see ‘Your Nobody’ flashing across the screen. 

I struggled to get up, falling across Mika and Ashley’s legs as I landed on the floor. 

“I’ll be right back,” I said, distracted as I walked towards my balcony, which was attached to the kitchen.

“Hello?” I asked, once I swiped across my screen.

“Hey, beautiful,” I heard his voice, tired and strained on the other line. 

I sighed. “I don’t mean this in a bad way, I swear. But there’s a lot of explaining to do. You haven’t talked to me in a week. Not since…” I trailed off, not sure how to proceed. 

He groaned, and I’m pretty sure I could hear him smacking his forehead. “I know, and I’m sorry. Just… please understand there’s a reason, and I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can.”

“There’s going to be a lot of making up, then.”

“I know, I understand, I really do. I am so sorry.”

I sighed, sinking into one of the deck chairs. I watched the twinkle lights I had strung across the rail as they faded in and out. I played with one of the holes in my jeans, picking at one of the threads. 

“So, I was watching tonight. I’m sorry you didn’t make it into the top two.”

“It’s fine. I’m happy to have made it as far as I did.”

“Dalton, you know you can be open with me, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

I waited a couple seconds, knowing he needed a bit of time to gather his thoughts. I was surprised when my phone buzzed in my ear, and I pulled away, seeing I had a facetime request from Dalton. I immediately accepted, and could see the emotions flowing over his face. His eyeliner was smudged, and I could see faint tear tracks, made more noticeable with his eyeliner mixing with the salty liquid. His eyes looked frantic. 

“Dalton? I know you probably don’t want to talk, and that’s okay. Just please don’t keep it bottled up?” I bit my lip, not sure how to comfort him. If I had been there, I would have had him in my arms before he had let the first tear slip. 

He nodded, and I could see he was trying to concentrate on my voice, staring hard at the screen of his phone. 

“Know all of us are proud of you. You killed all of your performances. You showed them that there’s more than just typical cookie cutter singers still out there. You didn’t change to be what people wanted you to be. You stayed true to yourself. Who cares what America thinks tonight? The people who matter, the people who knew you before all the fame, they are so proud of you. You bring a smile to all of our faces constantly. You will always be my constant, no matter what you do, where you are, what your job is, whether you’re famous or not. You’ll always be the person who always went out of his way to say hello to me, even if I never responded. That’s the Dalton I love, and the Dalton I fell for.”

I saw his shoulders tense, and his eyes widened. 

“Wait. You fell for me?”

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I did, and I still am. I know it’s awkward right now, we haven’t talked in a while. Not since I kissed you. Not because I felt I had to, but because I wanted to, because it felt right. But, Dalton, know that I never want to lose you as a friend. And now I feel like I’m rambling. Just…. Know I’m here no matter what. Take as long as you need, or whatever. I have to go…”

I trailed off, looking in through the door. Ashley and Michael were poking their heads in the kitchen, watching me.

“Yeah, okay,” Dalton stuttered a bit, and I looked back at my phone to see him nodding, and could tell his mind was on overload. “I’ll call or text soon, okay? It won’t be near as long this time.”

“It better not be!” I stuck my tongue out at him, and he gave me a small smile. “I’ll talk to you in a bit, I miss you!”

“Miss you, too, beautiful.”

I closed the facetime call, leaning back in the chair. I told him how I really felt. I couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. Is it normal for a girl to say something first? Was I too out there? I had no idea if what I had done was okay. I pulled out the headphones I had shoved in my pocket earlier, and attached them to my phone. I had some of IM5s music there, and turned it on. “Close Your Eyes” pounded through the earbuds, and I lost myself to the music before my mind could run away.


	17. don't know what im saying but I just don't care

Mary-Ellen

Three days later, I was back at the store. Saturdays are really busy, and today wasn’t an exception. Everyone was getting ready for family vacations, buying up for the warm weather that was already appearing, and putting off studying for final exams for college. 

I was training a new associate, and he was catching on really quickly. I had him logged on under my employee number ringing customers through, watching over his shoulder, and giving pointers as he came across new situations. 

I checked the clock on the register, and realized I had my break in a few minutes. I called a manager over our walkie system, and another associate was brought to cash to relieve me and the new employee. Once I clocked out, I grabbed my phone from my locker, and found the home screen littered with texts, missed calls, and a voicemail. I checked all my texts first, most asking when I get off my shift. I replied to them, and opened the voicemail. I listened to the name of the caller, and was surprised to hear “Your Nobody.” I started impatiently tapping the table with my fingernails, which were barely long enough to make any sound.

“Close your eyes and I'll kiss you  
Tomorrow I'll miss you  
Remember I'll always be true  
And then while I'm away  
I'll write home every day  
And I'll send all my loving to you

I'll pretend that I'm kissing  
The lips I am missing  
And hope that my dreams will come true  
And then while I'm away  
I'll write home every day  
And I'll send all my loving to you

All my loving I will send to you  
All my loving, darling I'll be true”

I was so confused, and I guess it showed on my face. Cameron, the new associate, was sitting across from me. 

“What’s up?”

“Nothing… At least, I think it’s nothing. A friend of mine, a close friend, just left a voicemail, and I’m not sure what it means.” I ran a hand through my hair, biting my lip as I replayed the words in my mind. 

“Is it okay if I listen?” He tilted his head to the side, a look of curiosity crossing his face. 

I nod, sliding the phone across the table. 

Cameron pressed a button to replay the voicemail, and I watched as his eyebrows knitted together. After a few seconds, he smiled.

“That’s actually really sweet. How well do you know each other?” 

“He’s… He’s my best friend. He’s helped me through so much, and I feel like I have a map of his brain, and he has a map of mine. We completely get each other. It’s like he’s my other half.”

He nodded. 

“He likes you, you know that?”

I shrugged.

“I overheard a conversation between him and a few friends about a week ago. They said he like me, but I was also half asleep, so I might have dreamed about it.”

“He really does like you. Listen. ‘I'll pretend that I'm kissing the lips I am missing, and hope that my dreams will come true. All my loving I will send to you.’ People don’t send that kind of thing to just anybody.”

I smiled. “He’s special. He really is. He means more to me than he realizes.”

“He’s a lucky man then. My fiancé says the same things about me, but I can never see his side of things. I always say I’m too lucky to have him in my life, but then he also can’t see why I think that way.” Cameron laughed, looking down for a second before raising his gaze to meet mine. “I guess that’s what a relationship is, though, putting yourself out there for the other person, truly appreciating their presence in your life. I don’t know many people who can say they feel the same.”

I nod, fingering the phone that was now back in my grasp. I unlocked it, and tapped Dalton’s contact info. I sent a quick text, saying I was sorry for missing his call, but that I should be off shift at 5 if he wanted to call after when he was free.

By then, my break was over, and I went back to all the crazy that is retail.

***

I pulled into the underground parking lot of my apartment building. I checked my phone yet again, hoping to find something left from Dalton. My screen was still blank. I sighed, but knew he was busy with interviews, writing, meetings, and everything else having to do with writing an independent album. 

I called the elevator, and pulled out my earphones, placing an earbud in my ear before pressing play on one of Dalton’s playlists, and Photograph poured through my mind, helping ease me after a long day on my feet. Concrete really isn’t the best surface, especially when you’re encouraged to be wearing the latest trends. 

I was still lost in my music as I unlocked the door to my apartment, and was greeted by twinkle lights strung across the walls of the hallway. I was confused. I didn’t put them there, and the only person who had an extra key was my mom, who had been at work all day.

I slowly moved farther inside, and found a record player playing, and when I zeroed in on the label, saw it was the Beatles greatest love songs. I finally noticed the envelope taped to the side. I reached forward, curious. 

I flipped the envelope, and pulled out a small note. 

“Hey, beautiful!   
I know you had a hard day, so I set this up. Please don’t yell at me for breaking and entering. But, if you want some quality time, food, and endless cuddles, change into the clothes I set on your bed and come find me on the roof.  
I’m hoping I see you soon, I’ve missed you.  
Dalton”

My heart swelled, and I couldn’t stop smiling. I went to my room, finding a pair of neon purple leggings and a black hoodie on my bed. When I opened the hoodie, I found the back read ‘Rapattoni’s My #1 Fan’ in the same neon purple as the leggings. I slid it on along with the leggings, and pulled my hair up in a messy bun. I switched from my running shoes into a pair of boot slippers before grabbing my phone and keys and heading for the stairwell leading to the roof. 

When I opened the door, I found one of the sweetest sights ever. I found a mountain of blankets and pillows, a box of pizza with a couple drinks from Starbucks, a laptop set up on a low table in front of the mound of material, and a familiar blonde sitting cross legged, slowly plucking away at a guitar.

I smiled as I slowly approached, not wanting to disturb him if he was in the middle of a creative brainwave.

I guess I wasn’t as quiet as I thought, or he saw my shadow. He looked up from his fingers working out chords, and a grin spread across his face. He put his guitar to the side, pushing himself up off the blankets and closing the gap between us. He didn’t even watch my face for permission this time. He engulfed me in a hug, a hug that was so deep and full of love that if he hadn’t been holding me up, I would have melted into a puddle of goo. 

“Hey,” he murmured, burying his face in my neck.

“Hey.” I circled my arms around his waist, my nose in his chest. I could smell him, the familiar scent of apple cinnamon floating through the air. 

I felt him mumbling into my shoulder, and tried to pull myself back to reality to listen. 

“I know it hasn’t even been two weeks, but I missed you.”

I smiled. “I missed you, too.”

We stayed like that for a few minutes, until he pulled away far too soon for my liking. His hands stayed on my shoulders. 

“So, I promised to make it up to you, and actually, this is kind of my explanation at the same time. Pizza and Starbucks, I also have a huge case of DVDs to choose from, and whenever you get tired of movies, we have our own personal star show.” He pointed to the sky. My apartment building was on the outskirts of town, so our view wasn’t ruined by light pollution. 

I smiled. “Okay, so this is the making it up to me part. What about the explanation?”

He shook his head. “It will come, I promise, just let tonight play out. Trust me?”

I slowly nodded, and he grinned, letting one hand slide down my arm towards my own, pulling me into his fortress of blankets and pillows. He then pulled the table over along with the pizza. We sat side by side as we ate, talking about everything and nothing, just catching up with each other. 

I shifted, sliding off one of my boots before digging my thumb into my heel. My feet are normally worn out after work, and today was no exception. I noticed Dalton had trailed off on his story about the guy sitting beside him on the plane ride over, and he started watching my face. When he realized what I was doing, he stopped me.

“Nope. My job tonight.” He motioned for me to slide back against the wall, and he moved in front of me, cross legged, slipping both of my feet into his lap. He carefully moved his fingers over the bottom of my left foot, specifically the ball. I felt him pressing his fingers against the muscles, which hurt, but also soothed as my foot was slowly realigned. 

I sighed, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. I felt him finish with my left foot and move to my right, giving it the same treatment. The tension left the rest of my body through my feet, and I was turning into a pile of mush.

I was so relaxed I didn’t even realize at first that Dalton had moved in beside me, carefully pulling me towards him. When I opened my eyes, I found him behind me, and I was sitting between his legs, leaning back on his chest. His arms were around my waist, and I felt his thumbs drawing patterns on my stomach. 

“You want to watch a movie now?” He asked quietly, leaning forward so his chin rested on my shoulder.

I shook my head. “No, I’m fine where I am right now. I missed this.”

“I missed this, too.”

I lost track of how long we were there, just enjoying each other’s presence, not needing to say anything to fill the comfortable silence. 

Dalton spoke up. “You know, I still owe an explanation.”

“Mmhm.”

I could hear him chewing his lip as he thought of how to continue.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I really didn’t. I just didn’t know if I could keep quiet before I came out here.” He sighed. “I’ve had this planned for a while. I had my mom talk to your mom who had a kay made for your apartment. Dana helped with everything. I knew I needed it to be big, special, just because I wanted to show you how special you are. I know you don’t believe it, and would be happy with anything, but I wanted it to be memorable.”

I turned my face slightly, watching him as he spoke. I was confused, but also knew he wasn’t done.

“Mary-Ellen, you are seriously awesome. You don’t let anything get in your way, you fight so many battles with yourself daily and come out on top. Your smile is rare, but when people see it, you light up their world. I could get lost in your eyes for days, not caring when I finally came back to reality. You do so much for other people, people look up to you, they respect you, they want to impress you, but you stay grounded, you don’t let other people change you into who they want you to be. You inspire me. You make me want to be a better person.”

He took a deep breath before turning towards me, his face inches from mine. I couldn’t help but get lost in his eyes. I felt his hand come up to the side of my face, the tips of his fingers gently running over my cheek before guiding me closer.

His lips found mine before I knew what was happening. The warm feeling flowed through me once again as I felt sparks. I slipped an arm around his waist and pulled myself closer, hearing him groan as his mouth moved over mine. I felt his teeth pull lightly on my lip, and I shivered, feeling his hand move towards my hair, playing with it. The hand that was still at my waist was now slightly under my shirt, and I could feel his fingers on my skin. 

He slowed down, moving to lighter kisses, then moving across my cheek. My eyes stayed closed, my mind trying to chisel the moment into my permanent memory. 

I felt his lips move off my skin, and I kept my eyes closed for a few more seconds. When I opened them, he was staring back at me, his eyes dark, and he was breathing heavily, but he also had a grin plastered across his face. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” His chin was back on my shoulder. “I like you, I really do. I had no idea how to tell you, or show you, because I wasn’t sure if your anxiety would make it hard for you, I didn’t want to scare you away by moving too quickly. But then you kissed me in the airport. I wasn’t expecting that. But at the same time, it made me realize that if I really wanted this, I needed to act, before someone else grabbed you.”

I watched his eyes, and the emotion I see is overwhelming. At the same time, I’m not nervous, nowhere near panicking, because I know it’s Dalton. He doesn’t let just anyone in, so to be one of those few… There’s no words for the happiness I felt. 

I sighed, leaning farther back into his chest. We sat there, just enjoying the silence once again. 

This time I was the one to speak up. 

“Dalton, you couldn’t lose me. I don’t think that’s ever possible. I like you, too, a lot. It takes a lot for me to get to that point with anyone. You have an impression on me that very few people get to have. I think only three people have hugged me in the past few years because of the touch thing. I have never slept in the same bed with someone else before. I have never bared my soul with anyone else like I have you. You have a hold on me that’s so strong that nothing could break it. You’re my constant, and that’s never going to change.”

His head leaned over, touching the side of mine. I smiled, leaning into it. 

“Does that mean I need to make things official?”

I lifted my head, looking towards him. “Meaning? I’m confused.”

He smiled, and pulled himself out from under me. I groaned as I fell back against the wall, but he pulled me up after him, so we were standing chest to chest, my hands in his.

“Mary-Ellen, I would be the happiest man alive if you accepted me as your boyfriend.”

I couldn’t hold my grin back, it nearly split my face in two. I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes, but they were tears of happiness. I nodded, and before I knew it, Dalton kissed the corner of my mouth before placing a gentle chaste kiss on my lips. He leaned his forehead on mine, and we stood there, gazing into the others’ eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!!!
> 
> So, I'm sorry for the late update, there's been a lot of personal things going on that require immediate attention, but I've been writing as I have the mental strength to do so. I have one more chapter for this story :(
> 
> BUT I have a sequel in mind, plus another story already in the works, three chapters already written, but I don't want to post them until this one is finished


	18. Authors Note :(

I am SO sorry for not updating yet! I've had a lot of personal things going on, I've been in and out of the hospital, and they wouldn't let me bring my laptop with me :( I've also been helping out a friend who's been going through some major drama in his life (thank god I took some legal courses haha). I have written this chapter about three times, and keep rewriting it because it doesn't sound right, and I want it to be perfect! I have decided, though, because of the wait, and a few people who have constantly commented, that I will post an extra chapter, but outside this story, as a one shot. 

Please forgive me! The chapter will be up as soon as I finish rewriting it this time, no more second guessing!


	19. can I be your gentleman

*5 YEARS LATER*

Mary-Ellen

Life has been so crazy. At the same time, I have been so lucky. 

I had been promoted to Head Manager of the store. I still worked at the School of Rock, but mainly as an office assistant. Because of my hours being upped in the store, and the schedule being unpredictable, I didn’t want to disappoint kids if I couldn’t make it in for lessons. Instead, I helped with scheduling classes, rehearsals, recording times, etc. 

Dalton was insanely busy. He had been picked up by a major record label in LA, about six months after Idol finished. They allowed his home base to continue to be Dallas. He’s released three albums, and gone on a couple headlining tours. He still stays connected to School of Rock, and goes on tour with them whenever it comes up. 

About a year after we started dating, Dalton moved into my apartment with me. We’ve since adopted a couple dogs, and our spare bedroom was transformed. We had it soundproofed, and it was now a music room for the two of us to let anything and everything out whenever we felt the need or want. We had made the place a nerd cave. All possible fandoms were represented. Figurines, Pop Vinyl, drinkware, framed signed t-shirts, posters, a wall completely dedicated to DVDs of everything we were interested in. 

**

I sighed as I closed the store. Teresa, one of our cash handlers, stood beside me as the security gate descended towards the floor. It was 11pm, and I was exhausted. We had been busier than usual, and everything that could have gone wrong did. 

On top of that, I also felt guilty. Today was our five year anniversary, and I couldn’t be home to celebrate with Dalton. He had just gotten back from tour the day before, and he was half dead when he walked in the door, so we had both been happy to just lay in each other’s arms as he slept. I had wanted to do something special with him today, but I had been called in last minute. 

As we got to the parking lot, I waved to Teresa as we headed to our separate cars. I groaned as I sank into the driver’s seat. 

I was frustrated. I had wanted to spend the day with Dalton. I hadn’t seen him for months. He had gotten home so late, and we woke up to my phone going off to call me in. He had smiled, seeing me off with a kiss and ‘I love you,’ but I could see in his eyes that he had wanted me to stay. 

I continued grumbling about my luck today as I drove back home. I am really not the best person to be around when I’m mad about something. I’m not the best at expressing what’s wrong, and I’m not even sure how to bring it up. It normally ends up with me even more frustrated, and the person trying to help, normally Dalton, being yelled at. I don’t mean to, but I don’t know how else to get everything out. Normally while I’m yelling, I grab my iPod and head out the door for a walk for a couple hours. I turned on my Bluetooth radio and blasted Meghan Trainor. 

The half hour drive was surprising calm, and it helped me sort out everything in my head. I felt a lot better as I pulled into the underground parking. I shoved my ear buds in as I travelled towards the elevator, hitting the button for my floor. 

As I walked down the hall to the apartment, I noticed something taped to the door. I pulled it off, reading the familiar handwriting. 

“Hey, Dove,

I’m sorry we couldn’t spend today together. I know you wanted it to be just the two of us. However, I do have a surprise on the roof. Whenever you get home from work, head on up. I missed you today! 

I love you,  
Your Nobody”

I smiled as I unlocked the door to change out of my work clothes and into a pair of baggy sweats and sneakers. There’s only so many hours in a day that you can wear combat boots and a fitted dress. While I was in our room, I also pulled my hair out of the tight bun I had it in, brushed it out, and pulled on a snapback. 

On the way back out the door, I grabbed my cup with the Ninja Turtles on it, filling it with water. I was dying of dehydration, and wasn’t sure how long Dalton was planning on us being on the roof. 

I played with my phone as the elevator took me up to the top floor before I climbed the last set of stairs to the door leading to the roof. I pushed it open, revealing twinkle lights strung across the rails, leaving a cool effect on bunches of flowers underneath. I let my gaze wander across the roof, finding a small table with two chairs in the middle of the empty space. There were two candles in the middle of the table, and I could see and smell another table with containers of sushi. Beside the wall which blocked off the satellite and electric machinery, I found my favorite blonde, cross legged and plucking away on his guitar. I smiled as my heart swelled. I hadn’t been able to see him like this in months, and I was on withdrawal. 

I ran over, and he looked up just in time to move his guitar to the side so I didn’t land on it as I slid into his lap, snaking my arms around his neck, pulling him as close as I could. 

“I missed you. So much,” I mumbled into his shoulder, kissing the skin that was exposed thanks to his tank top. 

“I missed you, too,” I heard him whisper into my hair. 

I couldn’t tell how long we stayed like that, just enjoying being in each other’s company again. 

After what felt like minutes, but could have been hours, or days, I pulled away, but left my arms around his neck. 

“It’s really pretty out here, I love it.”

“Thanks, beautiful. I figured you could use some air and peace after dealing with nutty people all day.” I laughed, knowing he listened to me rant after nearly every shift. 

“By the way, I know that you weren’t able to eat dinner. You hungry?” He nodded towards the table covered in sushi, and I felt my stomach growl.

We moved towards the table, and we spent the next couple hours catching up on the past few months. We had talked while he was on tour, but it hadn’t felt the same as having him beside me. 

After a while, I noticed Dalton was squirming in his seat. Something was up, but I couldn’t tell what. 

“Dalton? You okay?” I cocked my head to the side, watching his face. 

He nodded, and took a deep breath. 

“Yeah, I want to say something. Play something actually.”

He slipped off his chair, and walked over to mine, grabbing my hand. I followed his lead back to his guitar. He pulled me down so we were both cross legged, sitting across from each other. 

He played a couple chords to check the tuning, then started into a familiar song. 

“I wanna keep you for good so I swear I'll keep my word  
Open doors, carry bags, always puttin' my lady first”

I smiled, remembering when Will first released the song. I pulled myself back to reality as Dalton started the second verse.

“Won't say how beautiful, rather show you everyday  
The only thing I would change about you is your last name”

I met his eyes, and they captured me in their gaze. His eyes were always hypnotising for me, and I could get lost in them for days. There was something different though, they were more intense.

“'Cause you got something all the other girls will never have  
And that's my heart (that's my heart), that's my heart  
I'll do it like they did way back when  
Please and thank you just to hold your hand  
I'll convince you chivalry ain't dead  
So can I be your gentleman?  
I'll do it like they did way back when  
Please and thank you to hold your hand  
I'll convince you chivalry ain't dead  
So can I be your gentleman?  
Baby, will you, will you, will you, will you, will you marry me?  
Baby, will you, will you, will you, will you, will you marry me?  
Baby, will you, will you, will you, will you, will you marry me?  
Baby, will you, will you, will you, will you, will you marry me?”

My breath caught in my throat. Did he just say what I thought he did?

My thoughts were confirmed as he slowly set his guitar to the side, and came to kneel in front of me. 

“Mary-Ellen, life changed when I met you for the second time. We had known each other for years, but not enough to say we were really friends. That changed during Idol. I immediately opened up to you, which I never do with anyone. I could tell you anything, and you never judged me. I learned to open my eyes to more in the world, to always let someone show you who they are instead of going by your first impression. You have supported me through my dreams, and never gave up on me. You were there through my highs and lows. There is no way to put into words how much you mean to me, but I will spend my entire life showing you.”

He reached behind him, and pulled a small box into view.

“Mary-Ellen, I have a really important question to ask,” he started as he opened the box, revealing a simple, yet gorgeous ring. “Will you –“

I leapt into his arms, not giving him the chance to finish. I moulded my lips to his, and I heard him groan under me, placing his hands on my hips, pulling me closer, the box forgotten.

When I finally pulled away, I opened my eyes to find Dalton with a dazed look on his face. I smiled, and leaned forward to place my forehead on his. 

“Yes.”

He opened his eyes, the pupils dilated. “Yeah?”

“A thousand times yes.”

He broke into a grin, and leaned up to kiss me again. When he pulled away, he reached for the box, pulled the ring out, and carefully slid it on my finger. 

We sat wrapped in each other’s arms, just enjoying the company. We had all our lives to look forward to. 

I felt Dalton jolt beneath me, and he moved to stand up, swinging around and motioning for me to climb on his back.

“What are we doing?” I asked as I climbed on, resting my chin on his shoulder. 

“Keeping my promise, and showing you how much I love you,” he stated as he ran to the door.


End file.
